You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
