Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
