Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
