the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
