Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
