you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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