Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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