i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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