If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
