i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
