one might say we're banned from that church
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
