That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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