Dude my mom stole all your condoms
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
