Why are handjobs necessary in class?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
