she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize