dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
