so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
