my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
