Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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