...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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