real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
