i always forget guys have bellybuttons
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You may now shotgun with the bride
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
