i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
