Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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