I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
