what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
