gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
