Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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