I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
