last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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