I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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