I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
