Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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