he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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