I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize