It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
