How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
