I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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