I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
