Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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