Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
