Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
