cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
