she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
