So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
