dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize