i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
