we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
