I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
