I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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