i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
