i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
