I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
