Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
