No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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