how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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