How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Mom said you looked used
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
