it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wish i was in the wii world.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize