I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
