What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
