Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
