we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
try to milk me bitch
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
