forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
And then he peed in my hair
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